The Idiot Gardener

WARNING: This site contains information on gardening, brewing, curing meat,

building shit and hunting, all done in a piss-poor manner. It is not suitable for the

feeble-minded, the weak and lame, those of a nervous disposition, vegans and

vegetarians (and those other ones that only eat fish and the occasional bacon

sandwich - I think they're called 'hypocrites'), those who practice any

manner of folk singing or dancing, people named Colin or fans of Barry Gibb.

Bean there, done that

I’ve been packing a few things for my travels (well, chucking a spare pair of pants in a bag), but my mind hasn’t been on the task at hand. Instead, it’s been on beans. When I say beans, I mean beans and their friends. When I say friends, I mean other plants that my idiot head tells me are roughly similar in mentality!

The initial plan was to chuck in a few rows of broad beans. That was it. A few broad beans, a couple of bamboos, and job done.

Then the plan changed and I wanted bean wigwams, because they look good. I nearly made a mistake and used freshly cut willow, which I was promptly told would root, so that plan has gone out of the window. For anyone interested, the willow tree will remain in place and live, at least for another year!

I now am going for the broad beans, plus some dwarf french beans (purple ones, name not remembered). I shall be adding a few other climbing things; a climbing courgette, a climbing mini pumpkin and a climbing mini cucumber. I figure that all these things share two traits; a love of climbing and a desire for horse pooh!

I will be constructing one of the following:
A: A Bean Trench with Wigwams
B: A Bean Raised Bed with Wigwams
C: A Bean Trench with Trellis

Luckily, I am traveling for two of the next three days, including a fair old chunk of time wasted hanging around airports, so I shall muse on my options. Who knows, maybe I’ll have a clue by the weekend!

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8 thoughts on “Bean there, done that

  1. Edith Hope

    Dear IG, More and more am I convinced that you are well on the way, given a magazine column or two, a television appearance, a peerage and a slot on a National newspaper, towards ousting The Raven. It is only a matter of time when I trust that you will not forget your faithful friends and supporters from your earliest days.

    Safe return from your travels and hasten back to your weblog with all news. Do not become a ‘has been’. [lol]

  2. Jo

    I’m growing lots of different types of French beans this year. I’ve got climbing ones, dwarf ones, green ones, yellow ones and purple ones. I think I’ve got all bases covered there. I grew runner beans too last year, but I’m giving them a miss this year as I prefer French beans. By the way, you do know that you won’t need anything for your dwarf beans to climb up? They don’t grow very tall. I just put a couple of bamboo canes at each side of the row and wrap twine around them to keep the plants in place.

  3. Rob

    I hope you sort out your bean quandary. I for one don’t know how Edith manages to keep up with commenting on your posts – they’re being shot out pretty fast.

    So away for a few days? Not going to Lagos, per chance?

  4. Kyna

    I don’t much like eating beans. Which is blasphemy here in the Southern U.S. I might as well be saying that I eat babies O_O Here beans are treated as if they were ambrosia dropped by the gods from the heavens.

    Hehe, got a picture in my head of raining beans.

  5. jodi (bloomingwriter)

    We’ve ‘been’ enjoying your stories and adventures, and now you’re going to boldly go where no gardener has been before? Safe travels, and watch out for airports. They aren’t as fun as they used to be(an).

  6. Is the Wiz

    So relieved to hear Salix alba Chermesina is not for the chop. Now you know her full title, perhaps you’ll realise what an act of lese majeste it would be. I’m not too keen on broad beans, but love haricots, borlotti etc. There’s a cracker by the lovely name of Lazy Housewife, which you can have as French beans or leave to mature. Makes great cassoulet too.


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