The Idiot Gardener

WARNING: This site contains information on gardening, brewing, curing meat,

building shit and hunting, all done in a piss-poor manner. It is not suitable for the

feeble-minded, the weak and lame, those of a nervous disposition, vegans and

vegetarians (and those other ones that only eat fish and the occasional bacon

sandwich - I think they're called 'hypocrites'), those who practice any

manner of folk singing or dancing, people named Colin or fans of Barry Gibb.

Gardening Will Kill You

Some people garden for love, some people garden for money, some people garden because they’ve bought into that whole hippy-dippy dream bullshit. However, the very worst people are those who garden because they think it’s a healthy outdoor pursuit. Not only are they deluded, but they’re also bloody irritating. They prance around like gazelles, digging with a fury and doing star-jumps around the bean poles, completely unaware that ultimately, gardening will kill you.


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One thought on “Gardening Will Kill You

  1. Is

    Well, you will throw yourself into things!
    But seriously, this is Baby J’s way of telling you to pace yourself. You won’t always be 19 I’m sorry to. have to tell you.
    Get well soon x


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