Dirty Chimp Oatmeal Stout
The trouble with alcohol is that in recent years it has been dumbed down to cater for the tastes of people who really shouldn’t drink. Take cider as an example. Cider was the cheap filth that laid working men low for very little coinage. It was one of the two drinks that told you that rock bottom was fast approaching. The other – as drinkers will know – is tequilla. Drink either, and you’re probably so far down the slippery slope you can’t tell how slippery it is, or even that it’s a slope!
However, today cider is the darling drink of the middle classes – and ladies. I’ve nothing against ladies drinking cider. When I was a lad and it was all fields around here, a lady that drank cider would also smoke, gamble, fight and drop her knickers for a bag of chips. A lady that drank cider would let you finger her at the bus stop. A lady that drank cider did not expect you to call her the next day, because she couldn’t remember what happened the night before.
Today’s lady-ciders are strawberry flavoured, or contain elderflowers, and are sipped in half pints with plenty of ice (it’s just water, you fools). There is also the rise of Pear cider, sugary sweet and unlikely to get you any action in the supermarket car park.
It’s not just cider that has been softened up. There are so many trendy lagers out there, served with a wedge of lime or a splash of lemonade or a smear of pink lipstick and a sugary almond cake. Spirits have also been invaded. Coconut rum, bubblegum schnapps, gooseberry vodka, plus a whole host of fruit juices with alcohol and blue-coloured arse-drinks.
One drink that has yet to be screwed over to make it popular with nuns, lefties and children is stout. Okay, Guiness had a go at making their bland creamy camel-jizz popular, but proper stouts – ones that have a very bitter punch of malt and barley – have been left alone. It is into this arena that I welcome the latest idiot brew – Dirty Chimp!
Dirty Chimp is a stout in the style of old fashioned stouts, with a high degree of bitterness and a malty fist that catches you in the throat. It has a depth of flavour that will appeal to those who like their beers very hoppy, whilst also retaining that hefty charred meatiness that the fashionistas seem hell-bent on eradicating from beer.
The recipe is for 5 UK Gallons!
The grain used is:
4.5kg Maris Otter Pale Malt
0.5kg Crystal Malt
0.5kg Barley Flaked
0.3kg Chocolate Malt
0.4kg Roasted Barley
0.5kg Flaked Oats
Toast the flaked oats at 170 degrees C for 75 minutes. Then do a single infusion mash for 90 minutes at 68 degrees. Batch sparge at 76 degrees C.
90 Minutes: 100g East Kent Goldings
Safale S-04. You might prefer a stout yeast, but I didn’t have any, and only realised this once I was ready to pitch, so I just went ahead and it worked well.
The end result is befitting of the name Stout, and to be honest, out of all the beers I brew, this is one recipe I’ll pretty much leave as it is. Some people find it a touch too heavy, in which case they could back off the Roasted Barley a little, which will reduce the charred taste. Me? I’ll leave it as it stands, and let it slap me around a bit.
Oh yeah, if you think drinking isn’t big and clever, and want some tasting notes to pair it with food, it goes well with Pork (as always).