Stick It Up Your Arse
There are many reasons to attend hospital. One of the more embarrassing reasons is probably to have a retained rectal foreign body removed. If you ever find yourself with something jammed up your back passage, then rest assured that you are not alone. Other people have been there before, and they’ve probably used the same excuse that you’re going to use. More interestingly, you can bet that last shred of your dignity that some of them will have been gardeners.