The Idiot Gardener

WARNING: This site contains information on gardening, brewing, curing meat,

building shit and hunting, all done in a piss-poor manner. It is not suitable for the

feeble-minded, the weak and lame, those of a nervous disposition, vegans and

vegetarians (and those other ones that only eat fish and the occasional bacon

sandwich - I think they're called 'hypocrites'), those who practice any

manner of folk singing or dancing, people named Colin or fans of Barry Gibb.

Planting, sowing, germination – I don’t care what the weatherman says!

Yes, it’s cold. Really? Are you having me on? It’s March, in England, and it’s cold? Well, who would have thunk it? Let’s be honest,..

When the going gets tough, the tough do woodwork!

Thus far, 2012 has been a bitch. Rain, rain and more rain, plus cold, cloud and rain, has meant that most cultivation has been hit and miss. It is, quite..

Plot 9 from Outer Space

Well, after what seems like a lifetime, I no longer hate some of you. Ever since my conversion to gardening, I have been stealing inches of my garden from..

Sometimes the road is long and twisty, but after a while it also goes up a bloody steep hill…

The Father used to say ‘Hard work never killed a man’. Mind you, he also used to say, ‘Pleasure is a cheese sandwich, carried into battle on..

The great bean mystery

As many of you will be aware, last year was my first ever growing season, and the very first thing I grew was broad beans. These gave me a false sense of..

It’s all in the wrist action

Yes, I know I said I’d do the Wet Dream post next, but Jim complained about my last post, which was pretty much just some pictures of stuff like the..

Bean … and gone!

Today I bring you a tale of disappointment. I was going to kick off with some reminiscence of utter disappointment, but as I do that quite frequently, I..

In the Gutter

No, the post title is not a reference to where my sense of humour often heads, nor is it alluding towards where I end up after a night out with the lads...

Faded, jaded and shrugging off death

I returned home late last night, having spent longer traveling to and from Nippon than being there, with a head that was on backwards and aches and pains that..

Trench warfare!

Sadly my weekend has been eroded by having to travel to a work thing on the other side of the world on Sunday, but Saturday lay before me like a sunny but..

Bean there, done that

I’ve been packing a few things for my travels (well, chucking a spare pair of pants in a bag), but my mind hasn’t been on the task at hand...


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