The Idiot Gardener

WARNING: This site contains information on gardening, brewing, curing meat,

building shit and hunting, all done in a piss-poor manner. It is not suitable for the

feeble-minded, the weak and lame, those of a nervous disposition, vegans and

vegetarians (and those other ones that only eat fish and the occasional bacon

sandwich - I think they're called 'hypocrites'), those who practice any

manner of folk singing or dancing, people named Colin or fans of Barry Gibb.

The Homebrew stock list

Ask many homebrewers the secret to ensuring that your beer ages well, and they’ll tell you that you need to build up some stock! It’s hard to let a..

Nutty Chimp: the anti-craft beer has landed!

As a beer drinker who hates the general run of the mill creamy shit, you might wonder why I am against so-called ‘Craft’ beer. I’m not; well,..

Overnight Mash

If you’ve ever had a rushed brewday, then you might have considered an overnight mash. You might also have considered one if you’re a disorganised..

Homebrew versus Craft Beer

Why do people make homebrew? It was once done because it was cheap. Then people did it for a wider choice of beers. However, in today’s world, would we..

Compost and No-Dig gardening, the Idiot way!

When I was a young boy, I was rudely awoken one Saturday morning and told by the Father to put on my Sunday clothes; we were going to my Uncle Jimmy’s..

Dirty Chimp Oatmeal Stout

The trouble with alcohol is that in recent years it has been dumbed down to cater for the tastes of people who really shouldn’t drink. Take cider as an..

Polynesian Gibbon (featuring Nelson Sauvin)

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a pint of Polynesian Gibbon! First off, the recipe! This is for 5 UK Gallons. If you want to convert it to 5 US Gallons, then..

What the hell happened to Easter?

I feel lazy. No, not in a good way, but in a “bloody hell, I haven’t written a load of drivel in nearly ten days” sort of way. And I..


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