The Idiot Gardener

WARNING: This site contains information on gardening, brewing, curing meat,

building shit and hunting, all done in a piss-poor manner. It is not suitable for the

feeble-minded, the weak and lame, those of a nervous disposition, vegans and

vegetarians (and those other ones that only eat fish and the occasional bacon

sandwich - I think they're called 'hypocrites'), those who practice any

manner of folk singing or dancing, people named Colin or fans of Barry Gibb.

Sheep Piss Hay and Squinty Celia

I don’t know why we called her Squinty Celia. Well, her name was Celia, so that was one part of it. She was a bit squinty too, so that’ll explain..

Growing onions the Idiot way

Those with little better to do than read this piffle will know that this year I decided to grow some onions in hay. If you didn’t know that, then kudos..

Onion? Hay!

When I told my schoolmates I was going out with Mary Brannegan, they smirked and giggled. Some made obscene hand gestures to try and illustrate what I would be..

Growing in Hay

This year, as an experiment, I am growing my onions in hay. No, I’m not going to plant them in the ground and then mulch them with hay, nor am I going to..

Hay and Pooh! Preparing for 2014!

Like a young boy who has just seen his next door neighbour getting changed through a chink in the curtain, I’m up for it. I’m raging and ready to..

They shoot horses, don’t they?

So, it transpires that Tesco’s beef burgers contain horse meat. People are outraged. It has made the national news. Tesco has apologised. There’s..


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