The Idiot Gardener

WARNING: This site contains information on gardening, brewing, curing meat,

building shit and hunting, all done in a piss-poor manner. It is not suitable for the

feeble-minded, the weak and lame, those of a nervous disposition, vegans and

vegetarians (and those other ones that only eat fish and the occasional bacon

sandwich - I think they're called 'hypocrites'), those who practice any

manner of folk singing or dancing, people named Colin or fans of Barry Gibb.

Sheep Piss Hay and Squinty Celia

I don’t know why we called her Squinty Celia. Well, her name was Celia, so that was one part of it. She was a bit squinty too, so that’ll explain..

Growing onions the Idiot way

Those with little better to do than read this piffle will know that this year I decided to grow some onions in hay. If you didn’t know that, then kudos..

Onion? Hay!

When I told my schoolmates I was going out with Mary Brannegan, they smirked and giggled. Some made obscene hand gestures to try and illustrate what I would be..

An orgy of Onions

Let’s face it, if you’re thinking of having an orgy of anything, then an orgy of Onions does tend to make sense. Well, it does to me. Thus far my..

Growing in Hay

This year, as an experiment, I am growing my onions in hay. No, I’m not going to plant them in the ground and then mulch them with hay, nor am I going to..

Turf Wars – Plot 9 starts to take shape.

“It’s not a plot, it’s a bloody field.” No shit, Sherlock! “You’ve got your work cut out for you there.” Really?..


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