The Idiot Gardener

WARNING: This site contains information on gardening, brewing, curing meat,

building shit and hunting, all done in a piss-poor manner. It is not suitable for the

feeble-minded, the weak and lame, those of a nervous disposition, vegans and

vegetarians (and those other ones that only eat fish and the occasional bacon

sandwich - I think they're called 'hypocrites'), those who practice any

manner of folk singing or dancing, people named Colin or fans of Barry Gibb.

In Memory of Alan Titchmarsh

If there’s one nice thing you can say about Alan Titchmarsh, it’s … well … okay, I’ve got nothing. Alan came into this world a..

Titchmarsh Versus Clarkson

There’s one person who seems hell-bent on speaking up for all of the gardening community, no matter whether we want him to or not. Yes, I’m talking..

Sowing seeds in manure: what would Titchmarsh say?

You can’t sow seeds in manure. The experts say you can’t, so you can’t. Okay? Look, the likes of Titchmarsh, Fowler and Don didn’t just..

A Red Rag to a Bull

She was beautiful, her skin the colour of copper yet her eyes were icy blue and intense. An explosion of jet black hair cascaded around her face, and her thin..

Another year, another set of clean underwear…

Ladies and gentlemen, before entering the hallowed space that is this post, please put on clean underwear, slap on a bit of lippy (or have a shave, or both)..

Love spuds and limp lengths

It’s great to be young, all firm and upstanding no matter what life throws at you. As age descends, sometimes life’s little rigours can cause that..


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